Welcome

For the past 30 years Design for Living has presented courses and private counseling for individuals and couples who are interested in gaining insights and the know-how to create mutually rewarding relationships.

Our approach is that the problems people have in their relationships are the problems they should be having. Why? Because growing up there was no place to learn and understand the intricacies of interpersonal relationships and very few role models.

Our movie role models leave us with the idea that everything always works out alright. This leads us to look at our real life relationship problems as if something is wrong. And if something is wrong then somebody is wrong.

Due to this lack of education and understanding, all relationships are really "on the job training."

And "on the job training" leads to the kinds of problems we are experiencing in our relationships.

The approach that the problems are appropriate to situation eliminates the "something is wrong", therefore "someone is wrong" mind-set. This mind-set limits and shapes the way in which we deal with the problems, ultimately resulting in a power struggle.

This mind-set produces a game of right/wrong that changes partners according to the situations. A mind-set that fosters either/or thinking, therefore either/or solutions, and leaves no room for compromise.

Seeing the problems as being appropriate brings things into focus that you could not see before.

Life changes from an adversarial right/wrong dynamic to a win/win dynamic and either/or thinking is curtailed. Once the power struggle is short circuited, you now have the opportunity for communication, compassion, understanding and empathy.